Do men pay for it one way or another?

In a sense, yes, because the drives of both genders differ greatly. Biologically, males are designed to seek out and inseminate as many healthy, fertile females as possible, while females are designed to carry and nurture the resulting offspring. So the constant male desire for is unlikely to be satisfied by most women unless it's for a price of some kind, whether that's affection and reurance or simply cash. I don't think this view is 'ist', because I don't think it's a construct of society, I think it's the way we're made, whether we like it or not. Nature isn't too fussed about social equality; it's all about survival of the fittest.